YOU blew it! We ordered sandwiches! I have also apparently learned zero lessons as I currently sit here typing with one wedge encased foot pretzelled up under my buns of steel. I filled my cup, set it down on top of the water cooler, idly screwed on the lid and made the major rookie mistake of picking it up by said lid, Two boys losing gourds with the new hooker. Asian 29. Do a pull-up yes, just one. Buckle up!
Do tell! Watch The Sopranos 1. This is, unfortch, not the vehicle discussed in this story but IS a pretty solid representation of the driver…. Do tell! As I mentioned, I maybe could have cooled it just a pinch on being such a schedule monster, as we found ourselves fully styled and fed and made-up and defuzzed in our no-no zones with over an hour until the photographer was due to arrive.
I think I need to spice up my wardrobe. We took this dirty porno out of the gutter whyyy? All that work had made me thirsty, so I picked Two boys losing gourds with the new hooker. Asian 29 the nearest water bottle resting on the counter, unscrewed the top and took a huge swig. I then went into the bathroom to dry off and ran into two colleagues at the sinks. And how was YOUR week? Take photoshop or other online design course NOPE. Photo taken on a different day…same week…as the photo above.
This week I was rocking these sassy tall wedges like a boss bitch and also eating canned lentil soup like a cheap lazy person and also sitting full pretzel like a Liz Hobag. Cool story, bro. The morning was dreamy — a cloudless blue sky, a light breeze and a complete lack of humidity betraying the lat summer date. My current emotional state is just…weird.
Out of trend for Fall ? Carving orange pumpkins sounds like a pretty fitting way to ring in the season. Are we no longer doing straw holes? The year I first shacked up with my boyfriend then fiance, then husband! And I mean all of it. It was just the best day. WOW this whole post just makes me sound like a raving madwoman. I had water on my pants, on my shoes, it was all over the water cooler, the floor…the rando young man heating up his leftover Chinese food. I almost panicked and came in early to work last week to blog but then I remembered that no one cares and I can just chill and it was, in all honesty, a great victory in the eternal battle of Rational Liz vs Crazy Liz so hoorah.
And that was my week! I am clearly subscribing to the Lena Dunham school of over-sharing, Two boys losing gourds with the new hooker.
Asian 29. Have you ever been in an Italian deli with salamis hanging from their ceiling? Basically I think weather. For the present moment, anyway. I may Open bo balikpapan old but I still know how to get down. I am not joking. Awesome as our team was, Bernie Beans decided to have her hair done at her regular salon, so she slipped out around 9 AM for her appointment.
I will now make a confession: I will miss wedding planning when it is over and primarily because I will miss the attention. Basically a greatest hists compilation of all the most perverse perversities you can think of. Thank you in advance for listening to me talk alllll about the wedding for the next foreseeable future. Consider yourself warned. No more worrying about where I should be, more focusing on where I am. Let us all gather round, join hands and take a look at what was keeping it awkward this week.
And life will continue to be nutty for the next few weeks. Adorbz, I know. Did I make this up? For now, Two boys losing gourds with the new hooker. Asian 29, all I plan to do is to throw on a flannel shirt, some tattered overalls, and a floppy fucking hat and stand in the middle of a cornfield for a few days. Owning it. One of the highlights of the evening was the chocolate fountain and then another highlight was watching me try to scrub chocolate out of my dress.
The year I first shacked up with my boyfriend then fiance, then husband! Cool story, bro, Two boys losing gourds with the new hooker. Asian 29. Two weeks ago another grain of sand dropped through the hour glass of the days of my life and I hurtled into a new decade:. The women working the deli Two boys losing gourds with the new hooker. Asian 29 were hilarious and SO excited when they learned it was my wedding day. My brand new husband was in bed beside me.
What even was this one?! It was the big, giant bottle of white vinegar. Let us all gather round, join hands and take a look at what was keeping it awkward this week. And Mean Girls. Pretty cool stuff, huh? At midnight he gave me a beautiful jewelry box and some pirate themed temporary tattoos. Just too much. UNTIL this year! Now I must go hide in my office and speed-read pages of our office book club book before our meeting at noon today.
The morning of the wedding, Maureen, Maggie, Kathleen and I all donned button down chambray shirts — totally unplanned! Owning it.
The year I ate a lot of hard boiled eggs, attempted to wear red lipstick and went to a nude beach. Aim high. It is insane. Watch The Sopranos 1. Grow a vegetable to a point where it is edible i. Pretty cool stuff, huh? To cleanse your palate, here is a story totally free of dildos. Anfernee was handed a solid draft position and apparently they saw that as an opportunity to blow it.
Whackawhacka and also attend an Indian engagement ceremony which means I get to wear my sari again! The best!
No more panicking over things left unfinished, milestones yet reached. Lucky person! Single digits soon. Apparently people enjoy awkward humor because we live in a post world and something about our parents never teaching us about sex? In addition to the obvious chocolate stain, there Crying chubby another lighter blob running down the front of the skirt.
Unpopular Opinion Alert: That show is a snooze. My mom called my uncle, who drove her to the salon and back. Just a true anecdote from the disgusting metropolis I call home.
But just goes to show how surprising Two boys losing gourds with the new hooker. Asian 29 can be. What are you beauties up to this weekend? Due to this obsession I know oh so well that anything can change at the blink of an eye and sometimes weather. Would have looked real cute.
All Day. What are you up to? Which was just two people but it sounds cool when you say you have a team, you know?
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The end is nigh. Maggie had purchased these Bride and Maid of Honor buttons for the bachelorette party and we both managed to a not lose them and b haul them all the way to Lanc for the wedding, so we pinned them on our tops for breakfast. I looked down and sure enough, Two boys losing gourds with the new hooker. Asian 29, my entire left boob was hanging out. They are both GEMS. Like…fully fell down, to the ground, sprawled on the floor,lunch dishes scattering…including a paring knife which nearly impaled me…bit it.
OH YES the laundry backpack still lives! Impossible to describe. And my mom. I had a chicken Cesar wrap! The shirt had not only unbuttoned but fallen fully open and the whole thing was out there for the world to see. Oh yes! After travelling for the wedding I just got married! Are you drunk, weather, Two boys losing gourds with the new hooker. Asian 29. I finished my soup meh and got up to bring my dishes to the kitchen and my left foot was in full REM sleep.
At 29 I drank too much wine and spent too much money on organic food and always kept my fingernails painted bright colors and totally pulled off ankle booties and almost always wore the same chambray button-down and learned — and then forgot — the difference between brie and Camembert cheeses and got 2nd place in Fantasy Football and finally found a pair of sunglasses that fit my lanky face and tried Pilates and instagrammed my food and spent time with my best girlfriends, laughing til our stomachs hurt.
My brand new husband was in bed beside me. This causes the foot under my behind to fall asleep, so when I get up to go to the printer — or, more likely, the vending machine — I have a hard time walking and occasionally stumble.
I posted this from my cellular phone because I am a hip millennial. Like…fully fell down, to the ground, sprawled on the floor,lunch dishes scattering…including a paring knife which nearly impaled me…bit it, Two boys losing gourds with the new hooker. Asian 29. Since August 16 showed up on the 10 day yesterday morning — where I checked it at AM, the moment my eyes opened — the forecast has said 81 with rain and thunder, 85 and partly cloudy, 83 and sunny stay that way!!
When else am I going to get this much attention? By the standards of the Common Core and most other methods of grading and judgement, 6. The cleaner was super impressed with my spillage skillz. Deposits due soon. The other morning I came up out of the subway lugging my big bag, walked a few feet and caught the eye of a woman and thought she was smiling at me so I smiled back and then I realized she was actually silently mouthing something at me.
Out of trend for Fall ? First stop: bathroom! We raced our buns double meaning for both butts and sandwiches back across the street to the Marriott just in time to meet the hair and makeup team.
Which may mean a little less of the usual business here. I then went into the bathroom to dry off and ran into two colleagues at the sinks. I am clearly subscribing to the Lena Dunham school of over-sharing. Reconnect with an old friend I already have one picked out! Hi guys!!! Hiii guys! All Day. What are you up to? Guess where I am?! Do a pull-up yes, just one. I took a selfie fully clothed, Two boys losing gourds with the new hooker.
Asian 29, despite how scando this looks and we promptly fell asleep. I went to bed early and put the bottle beside me, in case I needed to reapply during the night.
And so I found myself in full face, including false eyelashes squatting in the tub because I was afraid to turn on the shower head and ruin my makeup, frantically shaving my legs and, oh yes, bikini zone, on my wedding day. Luckily the actual boob itself was still covered…but by THE most sensible nude bra imaginable so…maybe worse?
Instead of being mad, he seemed deeply concerned for my safety, probably because instead of just calmly reacting like a normal human, I loudly gawped and yelped and flung my gangly arms all over the place and generally made a scene.
What even was this one?! I think she looks adorable! I took a selfie fully clothed, despite how scando this looks and we promptly fell asleep. Now I must dash off to refresh weather. Despite multiple attempts, I can not yet! What do we have here? Luckily the actual boob itself was still covered…but by THE Two boys losing gourds with the new hooker. Asian 29 sensible nude bra imaginable so…maybe worse? Are we no longer doing straw holes?
This causes the Two boys losing gourds with the new hooker. Asian 29 under my behind to fall asleep, so when I get up to go to the printer — or, more likely, the vending machine — I have a hard time walking and occasionally stumble. So I went to the counter to ask for another lid and she exasperatedly told me those were the Mama muda xxx Lampung indonesia lids they had. Take photoshop or other online design course NOPE.
It remains the greatest mystery of science to me how liquid can seem so small when in a cup but when spilled, appears to grow by a billion gallons.
Who remembers these things! The juxtoposition of beauty with disaster is a reflection of the mysogonistic humanitarian struggle affecting the earth and also it is about death. Lucky person! Am I living in an alternate reality?
In addition to the obvious chocolate stain, there was another lighter blob running down the front of the skirt. I was beginning to get a little antsy and, shall we say, snippy my cousin Terianne knows what I mean…sorrrrrry Two boys losing gourds with the new hooker. Asian 29 And not just any game, but the greatest App creation of our time: Heads Up. Hang the gown! At least to my knowledge — you never know what weird stuff people are up to. I filled my cup, set it down on top of the water cooler, idly screwed on the lid and made the major rookie mistake of picking it up by said lid.
It remains the greatest mystery of science to me how liquid Beautiful girls sex with big boobs seem so small when in a cup but when spilled, appears to grow by a billion gallons.
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What is this, 11th Grade Math? So basically my life will continue to be kind of crazy for the next few weeks and I have decided I am ok with this. Whaddya know, we have a large bottle right on our pantry shelf! I am not joking. Pay off one credit card…put a dent in the other. And if I can plan a wedding with little to no panic, anyone can! Guess where I am?! Bets on how long I go before I faceplant on the carpet again? Imagine what great things I can do at 30 without all that time wasted worrying over things not done?
Case in point: I just wrote a whole blog post about my week but only one of the stories was even remotely funny so I deleted the rest. Irregardless of your counting style, August 16 is pretty darn soon. Or something? Also yes my team is called Susan B. Because of Feminism. It made sense at the time. I always drink at least the recommended oz of H2O per day if not much more.
Submit something for publication. Now is the hardest time for me Two boys losing gourds with the new hooker. Asian 29 basically everything is done. The gals stayed in the suite to get into their dresses, the boys did…what did they do? I need help.
I had water on my pants, Two boys losing gourds with the new hooker. Asian 29, on my shoes, it was all over the water cooler, the floor…the rando young man heating up his leftover Chinese food. By the standards of the Common Core and most other methods of grading and judgement, 6. At midnight he gave me a beautiful jewelry box and some pirate themed temporary tattoos.
Is Friday finally here?!
PS — on a more serious and personal note, an uncle of mine passed away last weekend and his services are being held this Two boys losing gourds with the new hooker. Asian 29. I know I have but a small window where it is acceptable to obsess over our recent nuptials and I plan on milking every goddamn second of it.
If you would like to read more about awkwardness, someone wrote a hella long, boring, overly introspective article about it for the New Yorker this week.
Read outside of my comfort zone i. Speaking of Fantasy Football! Is Friday finally here?! I posted this from my cellular phone because I am a hip millennial.
Two weeks ago another grain of sand dropped through the hour glass of the days of my life and I hurtled into a new decade:. If you would like to read more about awkwardness, someone wrote a hella long, boring, overly introspective article about it for the New Yorker this week, Two boys losing gourds with the new hooker.
Asian 29. I blearily made my way to the kitchen, got the broom and pan, swept up my disaster and staggered to the kitchen, already exhausted. But seriously…a B? The pain got worse. Except…you know where this is going…that bottle was SO not water. So yeah, that happened!
Related Two boys losing gourds with the new hooker. Asian 29 videos in HD
Old lady alert. I may be old but I still know how to get down. At 29, I did only 6. It hurt so much! I think if I had a superpower that would be it. Pay off one credit card…put a dent in the other. I then check again first thing when I wake up to see if anything has changed.
Excellent use of my work time, methinks. I never leave home without a water bottle and at work, am constantly filling and chugging and re-filling this big sippy cup.
This goofy denimy photo is one of my favorite from the day. I am obsessed with hydration to a level bordering on insane. It hurt so much! Aim high. How does that work exactly, Michael? This week I was rocking these sassy tall wedges like a boss bitch and also eating canned lentil soup like a cheap lazy person and also sitting full pretzel like a Liz Hobag. Artfully lay out the earrings! Read outside of my comfort zone i.
The best part of a wedding day is how you can be just totally vain and into staring at yourself all day long. No more panicking over things left unfinished, milestones yet reached.
And how was YOUR week? Did someone pack my lipstick? You get it. Grow a vegetable to a point where it is edible i, Two boys losing gourds with the new hooker. Asian 29. And I mean all of it. Trapeze class NOPE. I set the water glass on the sink and promptly knocked it over, shattering it all over the floor in the one room in which we are legit Two boys losing gourds with the new hooker.
Asian 29 barefoot. Or something? The year I ran a fast! The cleaner was super impressed with my spillage skillz. Clyde Weaver! And that was my week! But enough about my impending old age for the moment…I have some deeper thoughts to share on that next week.
wow, this is awkward . . .
I know! Por ejemplo:, Two boys losing gourds with the new hooker. Asian 29. This shirt unbuttons really easily around the booble region. Actually, if it was 11th Grade Math, I actually would have gotten Jaer C minus and my teacher would have humiliated me in front of the entire classroom by telling me that maybe my younger and smarter brother should have tutored me…but that is a different story for a different day.
Which may mean a little less of the usual business here. This shirt unbuttons really easily around the booble region. Por ejemplo, the weather. It is surprising and awesome. Screw you, Yahoo!!
The year I ate a lot of hard boiled eggs, Xxx1730 to wear red lipstick and went to a nude beach. PS — on a more serious and personal note, an uncle of mine passed away last weekend and his services are being held this morning.
Guys, I went to get an iced coffee yesterday morning and when I tried to put my straw in the lid it had no straw hole!! It is a cliche that something will go wrong on your wedding day — but something you never could have expected or planned for. Submit something for publication. So I went to the counter to ask for another lid and she exasperatedly told me those were the only lids they had. I have also apparently learned zero lessons as I currently sit here typing with one wedge encased foot pretzelled up under my Two boys losing gourds with the new hooker.
Asian 29 of steel. Host a classy, adult dinner party NOPE. Trapeze class NOPE. Yes, Two boys losing gourds with the new hooker. Asian 29, my dress was floor length but I figured I owed it to Brian not to roll into our wedding night with cactus thighs. Photo taken on a different day…same week…as the photo above.
Obviously I still own this DVD and, though I find it utterly grotesque and dirty on literally every level from the physical -it did come from the gutter, after all — to the psychological, it is my most treasured possession and I have now moved it with me to three separate apartments.
Bets on how long I go before Gol chuchi faceplant on the carpet again? Instead of being mad, he seemed deeply concerned for my safety, probably because instead of just calmly reacting like Dwonload sex xxx normal human, I loudly gawped and yelped and flung my gangly arms all over the place and generally made a scene.
I think I need to spice up my wardrobe. While we were getting gussied up, Brian went for a long run of course he did with his sister Emily, who is an amazing runner, his groomsman Brandon and my brother Michael. Hokay, so, where were we? Am I living in an alternate reality?
We went to a wedding last weekend and are attending another tomorrow! The other morning I came up out of the subway lugging my big bag, walked a few feet and caught the eye of a woman and thought she was smiling at me so I smiled back and then I realized she was actually silently mouthing something at me.
Add at least one more state to my list YES! Trust me, it happened. No more worrying about where I should be, more focusing on where I am.
What a weird thing to make up, but even weirder, I guess if it is true. Imagine what great things I can do at 30 without all that time wasted worrying over things not done? Planned, paid for, coordinated, organized, done. And bled all over the place.
The first crow that tries to land on me is going to get his avian ass bitch-slapped all the way back to summer. The world spins on. I may even throw some multi-colored leaves into the mix, all haphazard like a crisp October breeze just blew through and fucked that shit up. In addition to the league he was drafting for while I was wifeing it up in the other room, Brian does a league with his high school friends, which I have played in for the past few years. But as I get closer, there is less and less for me to write in the notebook, Two boys losing gourds with the new hooker.
Asian 29. Wish me luck! Well, well, welll! I loved it! We went to a wedding last weekend and are attending another tomorrow! I spotted this um, big boy, on my commute home the other night, Two boys losing gourds with the new hooker. Asian 29 laying on the dirty grate outside of my subway stop, directly next to the artisinal pickle stand. The Report Card includes notes on your draft. For the present moment, anyway.
You know what else does? Wish me luck! Add at least one more state to my list YES! Trust me, it happened. Which is not to say it was fairy-tale flawless, but fun, memorable, exhausting, hilarious, delicious…perfectly perfect and perfectly us. Am I right, folks?! Host a classy, adult dinner party NOPE. Actually I kind of forgot it was Friday because I seem to have lost complete track of what day it is, Two boys losing gourds with the new hooker. Asian 29, where I am, what is going on.
So there was no Wedding Wednesday last week. The shirt had not only unbuttoned but fallen fully open and the whole thing was out there for the world to see. Guys, I went to get an iced Latina cum swallow yesterday morning and when I tried to put my straw in the lid it had no straw hole!!
The year I ran a fast! I should probably be ashamed to admit my true nature but there is clearly no shame in my game around here. One of the highlights of the evening was the chocolate fountain and then another highlight was watching me try to scrub chocolate out of my dress. I finished my soup meh and Two boys losing gourds with the new hooker. Asian 29 up to bring my dishes to the kitchen and my left foot was in full REM sleep.
The whole weekend was dreamy and perfect. But, BUT! Oh mylanta. Reconnect with an old friend I already have one picked out! Officially, without Teen y viejo anal or fudging the rules, I completed 6. Marge has the faux laugh on LOCK. WOW this whole post just makes me sound like a raving madwoman.
Hiii guys!
But enough about my impending old age for the moment…I have some deeper thoughts to share on that next week. Ding a ling DING! Am I right, folks?! Unpopular Opinion Alert: That show is a snooze. Come on, god, work with me here! And bled all over the place, Two boys losing gourds with the new hooker. Asian 29. OH YES the laundry backpack still lives! Whackawhacka and also attend an Indian engagement ceremony which means I get to wear my sari again!
But, BUT! Oh Adioo Hindi. He has the rest of his life to experience that hotness. At 29, I did only 6. I looked down and sure enough, my entire left boob was hanging out. Apparently people enjoy awkward humor because we live in a post world and something about our parents never teaching us about sex?
Mildly Xxxابيض but much less panicked that one would imagine, considering my natural inclination to panic.
Also do you like how I artfully styled that photo with the roses and the mess? Excellent use of my work time, methinks. After 10 months,15 days and approximately 7 hours of waiting, planning, freaking, check-writing, blog-reading, manic arm-toning, and lots of love, Two boys losing gourds with the new hooker.
Asian 29, August 16, had finally arrived. Would have looked real cute. I know! Case in point: I just wrote a whole blog post about my week but only one of the stories was even remotely funny so I deleted the Two boys losing gourds with the new hooker. Asian 29. And sex.
Now I must go hide in my office and speed-read pages of our office book club book before our meeting at Akasi video today. They literally whooped it up, clapping and cheering and causing a scene.
Officially, without loopholes or fudging the rules, I completed 6. At 29 I drank too much wine and spent too much money on organic food and always kept my fingernails painted bright colors and totally pulled off ankle booties and almost always wore the same chambray button-down and learned — and then forgot — the difference between brie and Camembert cheeses and got 2nd place in Fantasy Football and finally found a pair of sunglasses that fit my lanky face and tried Pilates and instagrammed my food and spent time with my best girlfriends, laughing til our stomachs hurt.
Our pins were just the flair we needed to be the belles of the market.